Avoidance of Pain

My family discovered recently that a close family member is addicted to pain medication. She began taking the drugs due to some pain she was having in her back. The back pain was not caused by a car accident or anything that serious. Her doctor told her that if she lost weight and began exercising, her back pain would be diminished greatly. Instead of heeding his advice, she went to a “pain doctor” who began prescribing pain medication. Of course, the pain medication that worked at one time ceased to be as effective, so something stronger was needed in order to have the same effect. Eventually, he prescribed morphine for her. Morphine is usually given to people in the last days of their life to ease suffering. Or it is given to those who have been in traumatic accidents, for a short period of time. My family member has been taking morphine for months and is now addicted. Lord, have mercy.

I have been thinking about how people (especially those in affluent countries) avoid pain at all costs. The moment one has a headache, some pill is taken (even if it’s an over-the-counter medication). We really cannot even tolerate any discomfort. We cannot stand to be too warm, too cool or hungry for any length of time (the candy bar must be had because we can’t possibly wait a couple more hours for dinner). I know someone who has a remote control for his car so that he can start his vehicle from inside his home and turn on the air conditioning/heat so that it’s a comfortable temperature when he gets in the car to leave. It makes me wonder how palatable Orthodoxy is to Americans or anyone from an affluent country. Can Orthodoxy grow here? How can Americans be asked to go without certain foods for half of the year? Can a culture that avoids pain at all costs embrace a faith that asks them to deny themselves anything?

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January 29, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Elizabeth

Lord have mercy. Sounds like your family member is struggling with things that are more than physical pain. I hope she can find hope; there can be healing.

January 29, 2011 at 8:41 pm

Juliana

Thank you, Elizabeth. She is certainly in need of spiritual and emotional healing, as well.

February 1, 2011 at 2:11 pm

jamesthethickheaded

Ditto.

Have dealt with pain for a number of years from a disc. Took one and a half pills over two days five years ago and quit in fear of the power of that sort of medication. Some of us are lucky in the combination of circumstances, fears, and reactions to escape where others are not. THough the pain continued and with immense intensity… confidence in recovery drove me through the process. There was no other option. And not everyone has that (misplace and misinformed) confidence… especially if they’ve been there before. Recovery doesn’t mean pain free… but often simply pushing it into the background. Management rather than relief. I’m no ascetic, so I suppose my level of pain was simply much, much smaller. Like to think it taught me a lot in general and something in a small way about suffering, but truth is probably otherwise. And yes, Elizabeth is 100% on the mark: Whether or not she had other issues at the start that needed attention, surely the addiction has magnified them and compounded it with others.

Prayers for your family member, and for you in helping them through it. Suggest Fr. Meletios Webber’s book on the 12 Steps… not because you can give it to her, but because it’s good – especially if you like his style and it may help your family understand the recovery process – since as Fr. Mel puts it, “…all drug rehab follows on AA’s discoveries…”. Key discovery is that recovery… like repentance… is lived every day and never done until the last breath. The hardest thing is learning how to support another where there is nothing… absolutely nothing… you can do. It’s worse than trying to get a kid to do his homework… where maybe your words help find a solution, or maybe they make the problem worse (my esperience).

I try to be optimistic on Orthodoxy in America. With the negative blather that sells on the internet, it’s not easy to stay optimistic. But I figure, if I can do this Orthodox thing… even badly.. then surely anyone can do it and do it better. Will they want to? Uh…. not if I make it as something for masochistic weirdos. Then again, if you give it the right slant, like selling some sort of X-sport (where the difference between that and masochistic weirdo is ?? slim?? none??) you never know what will happen.

February 1, 2011 at 10:17 pm

Thank you, James, for your comment. I have also taken (and feared) pain medication. I have a blood clotting disorder and have had 4 deep vein blood clots in my legs. I was given pain medication in the hospital and I saw how easy it could be to become addicted. Actually, on re-reading my post, I hope I didn’t sound judgmental. I was just lamenting the fact that she did not take her first doctor’s advice because I know it will be so difficult to recover from this addiction. Thank you for your prayers!

And thank you for the suggestion about Fr. Meletios’ book. I read his book Bread & Water, Wine & Oil, which I liked very much. I didn’t even think about getting his book on the 12 steps, but I will definitely do that.

Re: Orthodoxy in America…I would like to believe that people are seeking something real and deep and that they would be willing to follow the Orthodox path despite the ascetic life it calls us to embrace (it’s certainly the hardest thing I’ve ever attempted to follow).

February 2, 2011 at 2:50 am

James the Thickheaded

Juliana: Your lament was clearly without judgment, and my intent was to give encouragement, not cause embarassment. Forgive me.

The B&W, W&O book is wonderful. One of my favorites. You can find a talk on this on AFR… follows the text, but with fabulous variations. Under Fr. Mel’s Special – I think it was a Lenten talk from 2009 or so.

February 2, 2011 at 5:21 pm

Thank you, James. I will look for his talk on AFR! God Bless.

February 1, 2011 at 10:25 pm

margaret